A Bit Batty
by Sarah1281
Summary: The TARDIS is probably destroyed and the Doctor is suddenly faced with the prospect of a sharing a mortgage with Rose. This should make him happy, right? He does love her, after all. He's just never done well with being trapped and this time it's forever


A Bit Batty

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Note: Takes place during 'The Impossible Planet' because I just can't see the Doctor being happy settling down and living a normal life no matter WHO it is with. Frankly, I expect 10.5 to end up forgoing a normal life and working at Torchwood.

The Doctor had never really thought of himself as a sexual being and certainly not where other species were concerned, although he had had children and grandchildren of his own at one point. That had ended…badly, to put it mildly. He always had to put that sort of thing mildly because otherwise the full weight of his grief and guilt would overwhelm him and he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else. Now, sometimes that was okay because he had done a terrible thing and deserved to feel it but right now he had some more immediate problems.

The TARDIS was destroyed. He had always been warned that unless TARDIS' were disposed of in the proper way then they would cause the entire universe to explode and normally he would think that that was a joke but the Time Lords as a whole never did have a sense of humor. He supposed that this meant that the TARDIS must have managed to be destroyed properly…or that it wasn't really gone.

He didn't want to get his hopes up but how likely was it that an accidental destruction could manage to be done safely? And the TARDIS not being destroyed was really the only chance he ever had of ever escaping. None of his past selves had ever run into his present self – well, except for his fifth self that one time – and so he knew he wouldn't be saved by them. No future self could rescue him unless they themselves had already been rescued by _their_ future selves but stable time loops like that were incredibly rare and he couldn't count on that. Besides, he'd know if he ever managed to figure out how to do that when he met his future self and could work it out from there.

If he didn't manage to escape then he was _stuck _here. The crew had offered him and Rose a lift but then what? He could technically explore the stars and other planets still but he couldn't travel there instantaneously and he really didn't think he had weeks or months worth of patience in him to get to those exotic locations. Travelling might even be more boring than staying on Earth because at least there was more variety there.

If he had to be trapped with any one companion, he was glad that it was Rose. He would have actually preferred Romana because as a Time Lady she could help him think of a way out of this (if she even let it happen in the first place) and because if she were still alive then he wouldn't be alone anymore and if nothing else they could contact Gallifrey and make them send help. But if he couldn't have Romana then he was glad that it was Rose. He hated that he'd stranded her here but was glad for the company just the same. If he'd been alone when he got himself trapped then who knew what he'd do? At least Rose was helping to keep him grounded.

The Doctor had never really been interested in another species before but he didn't think it was snobbery on his part. He had no problems with interspecies relations and it wasn't even in that 'well, as long as it's _other_ people' way. He wouldn't have minded being with a member of a different species if it wasn't for the lamentable difference in lifespan.

He could have a few good years with someone (hoping that he wouldn't regenerate and make things awkward because they might not be able to accept it and his new self might not feel the same way as his old self had) but after that they would age and he would not. He'd have to watch his loved one slowly die and they'd have to watch him stay exactly the same. Eventually, he would end up losing them and they'd lose the chance to find someone to grow old with. It had just never struck him as a good idea.

Rose, though…he really had no idea what he was doing with Rose. The fact that she was the first person he'd met since the Time War that he'd had any sort of connection to definitely helped matters, as did the fact that she stayed with him through a regeneration and seemed to love the TARDIS life as much as he did. Not that that mattered anymore.

He didn't expect her to stay forever. She might have assured him that that was her plan and it might even _be_ her plan but he was a veritable Peter Pan and one day his Wendy would have to grow up. One day she'd realize what she was missing by staying with him and one day she'd leave. It might even be easier than watching her die.

He wasn't looking forward to that day but he knew that he was coming. Knew that one day, she would leave him even if it wasn't by choice. It was different with, say, Romana because while she could conceivably be killed at any time and die before him, it wasn't inevitable. Losing Rose, losing any human and every human, was inevitable.

So why…why had he allowed himself to fall in love with Rose? Why had he allowed her to see it? Theirs was a very chaste love, true, but it was love all the same. That would only make it harder on them both when the time came for them to part. It should never have happened but it did and now it was a little late for regret.

Rose had started talking about them sharing mortgage and really being together properly. He knew what was implied with that. Marriage, perhaps children, domesticity. Friends and jobs and predictability. He knew that she would never have asked him for that under normal circumstances but since they were stranded _anyway_ then why not? She would be understanding as he tried to adjust and attempt to help him through it. _If_ he could get through it.

Logically, the Doctor knew that that made sense. He loved her and he couldn't travel the universe anymore so why _not_ marry Rose? Sure she was young but she'd be young when she died so it's not like waiting and marrying her when she was twenty-five or so would be any less odd considering he was…somewhere over nine hundred. It was so hard to keep track of lately.

The problem wasn't with the logic but with him. He honestly wasn't sure if he could do it. He would have Rose but he would also have one planet, one life, forever. And he wouldn't even have Rose forever. Just a few short decades with her and she'd be gone and he'd be alone. Alone and trapped and stuck watching everyone he knew grow older. He had meant it when he called it terrifying.

And even if it wasn't the fact that he could potentially live forever, he had tried a normal life once. He had soon grown to hate it and escaped with Susan and Sexy the first chance he got. Susan was dead now and so was his TARDIS. He really was all alone. If he couldn't handle a conventional life with his own people who had the same kind of lifespan as him then how could he possibly be expected to deal with it with those who rarely made it past a single century?

What would he even do for a living? Help whatever version of UNIT Earth had? He'd gotten his fill of _that_ back during his third regeneration. And no matter what he'd picked, he'd need to do it _forever_. Even switching careers wouldn't offer up that much variety.

The concept of forever was an intimidating one as it was but the thought of being able to spend it doing anything anywhere with anyone made it easier to handle. The thought of spending forever trapped living a linear life was almost too much. He'd _kill_ for one of those mock-worthy Vortex Manipulators right now. He might even mean that literally. If he didn't now then he would at some point, possibly some point soon.

It seemed petty to say, but the Doctor really did have a short attention span. Whenever Rose or one of his previous companions had wanted to go somewhere relaxing he had felt the faint stirrings of stir craziness after only a few short hours. Nonetheless, he'd grinned and born it for their sake because they were amazing and if they wanted a bit of down time after putting themselves in danger time and time again for his sake then he'd give it to them. Sometimes he'd even gotten lucky and the place wasn't as peaceful as advertised.

Even now he was growing bored of this station and who knows how long he would be here or be with these people? Rose would be there and that would make it easier but even she could not make this worth it. She couldn't make it okay.

They were trapped and the Doctor honestly had no idea how he was supposed to handle this.

Review Please!


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